How we view the world depends....

Today I was riding my bike on the bike path, which I do a lot. There was an older lady up the way that was struggling on her bike, riding a little sporatically, and looking like she was having a hard time. There are two lanes, like on a road, and also like on a road, you ride on the right side of the path and pass on the left. The usual protocol as you get closer to the person you are going to pass is to yell something like "passing" or "on your left" to warn the other person. But for those who are not used to this, who are distracted in thought, can't hear well, or have earphones on, this often scares them, and just like honking at a deer on the side of the road, sometimes that makes them run right into you. Sometimes warning people makes them more nervous and they swerve to their left, where you just warned them you would be passing. So I am very cautious when I do that.

This lady looked very nervous as it was, so I slowed down and passed her without saying anything, thinking that would help her not be more worried. I was very cautious and am very experienced on a bike, so I knew I could pass her safely. But just as I passed, she let out a disgusted, loud sigh and yelled "next time could you PAHLEASE say 'on your left?!'" I figured she was just frustrated already and didn't understand I purposely didn't say anything so I wouldn't scare her, so I just kept riding without acknowledging her disgust. I guess that made her madder, so she yelled again "thanks a lot!!" Only it wasn't with an actual thankful tone! I still decided not to acknowledge her comment, as I knew she didn't understand, and her anger didn't have so much to do with where I was, as it did to where she was. So I kept riding. Just a few yards ahead, around the next bend, there was a man doing what actually has bugged me in the past--stopped in the middle of the bike path waiting for his companion (her.) I decided it was too nice of a day to let a little thing get to me, and again I told myself he also just didn't understand. He did quickly move out of my way, however, and gave me a nice smile with an apologetic look. I wasn't sure if he was apologizing for being stopped in the bike path, or for his wife who he had already heard yell at me. About that time I again heard her yell to him "Look at that, Dean, another stupid idiot on the bike path that doesn't know how to pass!!"

There was a day when I would have turned around and given her a piece of my mind, but that day was gone. Then there would have been a time when I would have kept going, feeling quite superior that I was above all her pettiness, but I would have stewed about it all day, thinking of what I could have and should have told her. But today, I just smiled. I reviewed the situation in my mind, but I came to see that just like she didn't know where I was coming from, I didn't know where she was coming from that day. How could she have known I was a little distracted this morning as I came upon her because yesterday I had gotten a PET scan to see if I was still in remission and I was thinking about what the results would show. She didn't understand how consumed I was going through the options of the "what if's" in my mind at that moment. She also didn't know I had been sick for over a week and that was the first time back on my bike for one and a half weeks and I was just happy to be there and to have a great bike and to feel good enough, hopefully, to finish the ride. She mostly didn't understand I purposely didn't say anything because I was trying to decide what would help her be least stressed as I passed, seeing that her ride was already looking frustrating for her and I wanted her to have a good ride like I was having.

And I didn't understand where she was coming from. Perhaps her daughter just died, perhaps SHE just found out her cancer returned, perhaps she had just lost all her retirement income or her house was being repossessed. Who knows why others view things as they do?

I was happy that by mile 3, I was at peace, I wasn't thinking about her anymore. I wasn't angry, I was just smiling and enjoying my morning. I've come along way. That's what life does to you. It either makes you angrier or more at peace. It gives you bitter pills that either make you turn up your nose at life, or help you see the sweet because you know what bitter tastes like. It also has helped me see that how we live life depends on how we chose to view life. And this experience made me grateful for all the people in my life who kept riding on without reacting to me when I showed my unskillfulness, who forgave me even when I didn't understand enough to apologize, even when I didn't know I had done anything wrong. My life is full of wonderful people like that.

I doubt I will ever see that lady again. Sounds like her day on the bike path was so miserable, she will probably not try it again because of the "stupid idiots" like me that she encountered. If I saw her again, however, and she was in a different space, and wanted to hear what I had to say, the only critisizm I would give is that I bet her husband really loves her, and perhaps that stuff embarrasses him. But I would thank her for giving me a "pop quiz" as we say in the school scene, and helping me to see how far I've come. I will say there was a part of me that tried to point out that "how dare she call me a stupid idiot, how dare she be so rude" but I knew that was that annoying thing I carry with me called the ego, at that moment I was able to divorce myself from it and look at its little tantrum it was trying to give me and just smile and laugh and say "I have listened to you long enough, do what you have to do, scream if you have to, but I am putting on my inner headphones and turning up the beautiful music inside this time. Tell me when you are done."

I hope I am ready when the next pop quiz comes, which in the educational system of this life, is sure to arrive again. Thank you wonderful lady, you made one stupid idiot's day a little brighter.